CONFESSIONS OF A MASSAGE PARLOR QUEEN Tuesday, September 16, 2008
So here I am waiting in a White Castle parking lot, somewhere in Central New Jersey. It's around 2AM on a Wednesday morning, or Tuesday night depending on how early you go to bed I suppose. I start to get a weird feeling that my interview subject isn't going to show. "Well there goes my diet," I say to myself as I start through the drive through. So it's not a total waste, I order up ten hamburgers, cooked on a bed of onions and steamed to perfection. My colon will pay for it tomorrow I know. As I am about to sink my teeth into my first murder burger I get a text message. "I'm here, where are you?" it reads. I look around the parking lot and see a stunning female figure getting out of a brand new pearl white, BMW 6-series convertible. She's wearing a halter-top that looks as if it could use a hand supporting a set of cosmetically enhanced breasts. Her pristine figure is somehow squeezed into possibly the tightest pair of jeans I have ever seen and of course the outfit is topped off with a pair of stilettos that could double as harpoons. I lean out of my window to grab her attention. She acknowledges by cracking a smile and struts her way toward my truck. The amount of attention she just demanded from the White Castle staff is hilarious as I watch them all hanging out of the service window drooling. With each step her long, brown curly hair bounces ever so gently and in total unison with her tits. It's a perfect symphony of hair, jewelry and silicone.
She gets in on the passenger side, flashes that smile again and reaches for a burger without even asking. "I fucking love these things!" she says as she chows down. All the while I can't decide if I'm totally attracted to her or totally disgusted as I watch her throw slider after slider down her throat with little effort. There's a sort of gracefull-ness to her eating. With each bite or two she takes a new napkin, wipes her mouth, sips on her diet Coke then reapplies lip gloss. We decide to grab some more burgers before we start to chat. The pimple-covered teen at the service window is practically drooling as he hands over the grub. Sensing she's being watched she decides to tease the teenager a little bit by leaning over me any doubt of my window, getting extremely close to the kid. "We're gonna need some more ketchup sweetie," She purrs. I, along with the kid, melt like the American cheese on our burgers. And off we go.
She goes by the name Corrine. Her half Russian, half Korean background gives her both subtle, and brilliant facial features. I tell her she's the first Russian/Korean person I have ever met.
GDEVIL: Are there a lot of you out there? CORRINE: Not at all. Not that I know of at least. My father is from Ukraine. He worked with the military there. I don’t know the whole story, and he’s very reluctant to tell me, but somehow he ended up in China, then Korea, where he met my mother. From there they fell in love, moved to Australia for a while then finally landed in the states.
I'm intrigued at how such a beautiful specimen of a woman can be this down to earth and comfortable with a complete stranger. I mean when you look at Corrine from the neck up, she could be mistaken for a runway model. From the neck down however, she's all porn star. And here she is shoveling White Castle down her mouth in an empty parking lot on a weekday night with me of all people. Then I remember what it was that Corrine does for a living that got her this interview. You see Corrine is a masseuse. We're not talking licensed massage therapist here. You won't see Corrine getting referrals from physical therapists anytime soon. No, she's the type of masseuse that has a "menu" of services. Most popular on her menus is the ever-famous "happy ending"
CORRINE: I prefer to call it a "manual release". Sounds more professional than asking for a handy.
GDEVIL: I don't know. That sounds like something I'd ask my proctologist to do, not a call girl. I get a cold stare with that last comment. Shit! Eat another burger and stay cool. Apparently I said something wrong. And that I did. Yes people, Corrine offers bodywork along with other sexual "items" on her menu. But whatever you do DO NOT call her a prostitute, call girl or hooker. As we sat on my back bumper Corrine educated me on the in's and out's of the massage biz... no pun intended.
GDEVIL: So tell me, in your own words, what it is that you do. Word it as if you were writing out a resume for yourself. CORRINE: It would read, "Massage Therapist and Stress Reliever: Four years experience in the field of gratification through intimate touching"
GDEVIL: Nice. You're hired! Short and sweet, I like that. So you've been "lending a hand" so to speak for four years? How'd you get started? CORRINE: Well, sadly a lot of Russian and Eastern European as well as Asian girls get pulled into doing it. Many of the girls are actually paying their way into this country. They sign a contract with these mobster type guys who promise to get them into the U.S. and give them a job and all their papers. When they get here they usually get stuck stripping in clubs, working at massage parlors or straight up being a prostitute. They have a debt to work off and once they do it they are free to do what they want. It sounds all horrible but these girls know what they are getting into prior.
GDEVIL: All this and your compassionate too? But wait, you were born here weren't you? CORRINE: Hey look, I'm sure there are girls out there who don't know any better, but come on now. No one is going to just give a pretty girl a free ticket to the U.S. And yes, I was born here.
GDEVIL: So why do you do it? You don't have to pay for your citizenship. CORRINE: Quite simple..I do it because the money is great. I love having my own cash. And this is the easiest job ever. I love men and money. I'm in heaven when I go to work. I started out stripping at a club when I was in High School. It paid my way through collee when a girlfried I knew told me she was turning tricks in the VIP room and makng triple what she normally would. I started doing that when I met a guy who told me about this massage place he was partners on. It sounded less seedy to me so I took him up on it. Now I have regular clients and make some good money.
GDEVIL: What's your weekly take home? Before taxes of course. CORRINE: (laughs) I work three days a week and take home anywhere between 1500-3000 a week. And yes actually Uncle Sam does get a piece of my "pay check" to cover the owners asses financially. GDEVIL: Gotta love capitalism. Ok. So you get money for sexual favors. I'm not expert but isn't that prostitution? CORRINE: Well yes. Its all relative. If people wanna call me a prostitute they can. But for the most part I don't do too many full or lip service sessions, just happy endings. I mean I actually do give a massage. And to protect myself I don't "serve" anyone not hip to the lingo. There is a certain eticate to follow ya know.
GDEVIL: Just to clear things up for our readers. Full service is intercourse. Lip service is a blowjob and the happy ending is a handjob. CORINNE: You're pretty bright.
GDEVIL: I went to Catholic school most of my life and had a priest teach us sex ed. I'm a slow learner. Ok you said something about eticate? How does someone approach you about other services other than the basic massage? CORINNE: Well first off, you have to know where we're located. Usually word of mouth and references from past customers that we know will get you in the door. Or if you know one of the girl's names and request her, or make an appointment. Very rarely do we accept first time walk ins. Once you're inside the woman at the desk will take the house fee for the massage, anywhere from 40 to 60 bucks. Then your girl will lead you to a room, have you undress and begin the massage.
GDEVIL: So when does this happy ending come into play? CORRINE: Some girls run their room different. Some like to be upfront from the beginning and ask what you what you want. If the customer doesn't have the right response then your just getting a massage and that's it. They are looking for answers such as "manual release", "happy ending", lip service or full service. If a guy states any of these the girl knows what she is dealing with, and usually the guy is naked already. Law enforcement isn't suppose to get naked then bust you.
GDEVIL: That'd be some sight to see. TJ Hooker balls ass naked handcuffing a bunch of massage girls. CORRINE: (laughing) I LOVED THAT SHOW! Oh, and also the fee or "donation" should be known prior. For example if you want full service you should know that it usually runs about 200 bucks. I tell my customers as they disrobe to leave my tip on the table then leave the room. When I get back I look at the amount left on the table and I know what the customer wants. 60 gets you a happy ending. 100 gets you a topless blowjob and 200 gets you full service.
GDEVIL: You should offer coupons in the Sunday paper. 2 for 1 specials and shit like that. CORRINE: Oh please some girls get VERY creative when trying to snag more customers. Ads on Myspace, Craigslist. I've even seen one girl hand out cards and she would punch a hole and initial each visit a guy made ad his 6th visit was always free with 5 previous.
GDEVIL: Oh my god just like Dunkn Donuts! Dunkn Deeznuts! That’s genius! Is this girl available for a marketing position? CORRINE: I'll have to ask her.
GDEVIL: So, what's the strangest thing that has happened to you in that massage room? Any really off the wall requests? CORRINE: After doing this for 4 years I think I may have seen it all, so nothing really comes off as strange to me anymore. I had some guy want me to pee on him one time. I told him no but then he offered me 500 so I took him in the shower room and pissed on the guy. Another guy wanted my panties stuffed in his mouth during a massage. A lot of guys are into S&M I've noticed. Its kind of a turn on actually.
GDEVIL: That leads me to my next question? How does this job affect your social life? Are you single? CORRINE: Ah the million dollar question. Yes. I have a boyfriend and he's pretty special to me.
GDEVIL: How does he feel about your chosen profession? CORRINE: He plays dumb. He knows what goes on but he also trusts me. It's just a job, there's absolutely no romantic link between any of my clients and me. He knows that, and it works for us.
GDEVIL: That would bother the shit out of me. Knowing my girl is manually releasing other dudes? It's gotta bother him a little bit no? CORRINE: There has been some friction about it in the past. He has a good job and tells me he would take care of me and I won’t have to work ever again, blah, blah, blah. But like I said before I like to have MY money. I enjoy doing this, I was doing it before I met him. Pretty Woman this ain't. I don’t need rescuing.
GDEVIL: I can understand where you're coming from. But maybe you're taking your independence a bit too far? I mean you aren't working the late shift at the local diner. Your blowing guys. CORRINE: (laughing) You make it sound so horrible!
GDEVIL: I'm just callin' a spade a spade. So how long do you plan on doing this? I mean is there a retirement plan in the massage girl union? I can't imagine much business for aging girls skilled in the art of happy endings. CORRINE: That's a good question. I don't know really. I'm not stupid with my money. I like to have nice things but I do save a lot and invest some here and there. A client of mine actually got me started in a 401k so I'm not worried about getting older. I'll do this till I'm ready to do something else.
GDEVIL: Do you ever think your profession will be legalized? CORRINE: I hope not! Then they would tax everything I make! (laughing)
GDEVIL: Ladies and gentlemen an enterprising female. Looks like we're out of burgers. I feel a little sick. CORRINE: Awww poor baby got a tummy ache? Want me to rub your back? (winks)
WD SYNDICATE Vs. DEVIL DOLL Friday, September 5, 2008
She's graced the covers of tattoo and hot rod mags. With a single glance she could melt a man (or woman's) heart. She goes by the name Devil Doll, but when the lights go down and the show stops, her friends call her Colleen. However, one thing is for sure, no matter what you call her, she commands your attention. While on stage she can shoot an innocent bystander with such a sensual stare one may go straight into cardiac arrest. In the same night, after the show, she would be happy to shoot the breeze with any one of her fans. She's unattainable yet totally approachable. She has the uncanny ability to make any listener think she's singing to you and only you. Like the mythical Medusa, her simple glance can be deadly. But instead of being turned to stone, I'd be turned into a gelatinous puddle of babbling mush that use to be a man. I knew when I sat down with Devil Doll herself I'd need two things. A will bonded in steel and some breath mints…
GDEVIL: First off. What's the status on the new album, Return of Eve? DD: It came out online October 1st, in stores November 1st. It will change your life.
GDEVIL: Life changing? You mean I might have a shot at kicking that naughty habit I have? Excellent! But seriously, I love "Queen of Pain" because every song tells a story. Can we expect similar writing in "Return to Eve"? DD: Of course, all the songs are based on stories. Some true and some not true. And stop dressing up like a school girl already G. It's creepy.
GDEVIL: I'll try. You currently reside on the West Coast, but aren't you an O.G. Brooklyn gal? DD: I was actually born and raised in Old Brooklyn, which is a section of Cleveland. But, I did used to live in Brooklyn NY for a while...
GDEVIL: There's a Brooklyn in Cleveland?! Wonder if they have good pizza? Anyway, I like to pretend "King of Brooklyn" is about me. It's not is it? DD: That is a hate song, why would you want it to be about you? I swear all the New York guys always say that to me. Every last one of 'em.
GDEVIL: What can I say, I'm not very original. Besides, I'm the self proclaimed King of Brooklyn so it's hurting my image. You're one of the busiest gals I know. Yet between gigs and photo shoots you always seem to make time for us fans. How do you do it? DD: I haven't a fucking clue. When I figure it out, I'm gonna bottle it and sell it...actually, it is ALWAYS and FOREVER about the fans.
GDEVIL: Speaking of photo shoots, will you be blessing us with any new ones soon? DD: I took a break from shoots and I am going back in the beginning of the year.
GDEVIL: Your band is made up of extraordinary musicians. How'd you all hook up originally? DD: I picked them out of a "musicians that don't suck" catalog. It has worked very well I have to say…
GDEVIL: Who's in the main lineup these days anyway? DD: That would be me, me, and me. I don't always play with the same lineup.
GDEVIL: A whole band of Devil Dolls. Interesting… DD: We would either never get anything done, or take over the world.
GDEVIL: I could live with either. Being a past resident of NYC, your opinion on this issue should be quite interesting to hear. What are your feelings toward the eventual extinction of Coney Island as we know it? No more side show, Mermaid Parades and dare I say it, the Cyclone!!! All replaced by high class condos. DD: I think it sucks. Our country is in deep shit. We have sold our souls to high-dollar, smooth-talking pricks. There are things I love about NY and most of them are now gone. It's turning into fucking Disneyland. And if Giuliani starts doing well in the polls I'm gonna throw up. Before you know it, we're all gonna wake up with computer chips in our necks. At that point I'm gonna go completely "Mad Max" and blame it on Catholic School.
GDEVIL: Oooooh I can jump on your shoulders and we can be Master Blaster! Ever since I first saw you guys perform at Viva Las Vegas 2003 was it? I've had this dream of you crooning "Happy Birthday" to me all Marilyn Monroe-like. Can this happen already please?! Hell it doesn't even have to be my birthday!!! DD: You never asked...
GDEVIL: This is me asking! Introducing people to your live act for the first time has always been a pleasure for me. The look on their faces is just pure enjoyment. But have you ever played a show where you felt as if you just weren't being received well at all? Kind of like the Blues Brothers at that country-western bar? DD: Hahahaha, Oh yeah, I think everyone has had those gigs where you wish there was chicken wire. It is also weird in parts of Europe. People are very stoic and polite a lot of the times with no expressions on their faces, then you finish a song and they all clap really hard and then. Silence. Weird. 4 weeks later I still wasn't used to it, and then I thought to myself, if we were to come out on stage naked we would probably get the same response. I felt a little better.
GDEVIL: Naked Devil Doll shows? Sign me up! DD: You're such a perv.
GDEVIL: Anything else you'd like to say before we take the spotlight off ya? DD: Yeah, what's with some of these anorexic girls on your site? Yeah, not too into chicks who look like boys, I think women should look like women, and our society has shoved plastic surgery and boyish figures in our faces for too long. Anyway, I'll get off the soapbox, you know I still love you.
GDEVIL: Preach on sister. Preach on. And I love you too.
RIOT ACT INTERVIEW WITH GO-GO AMY Friday, August 1, 2008
They say that guys want a gal who is a saint in the kitchen and a sinner in the bedroom. Personally, I think whoever said that is an absolute genius because ladies…it's true. Who wouldn't want the complete package? Well people I have some news for you. The perfect woman does in fact exist. She goes by the name, Go-Go Amy. Unfortunately for us fellas, she's taken. (Her and Jules Hodgson of KMFDM and Black Lab Studio fame tied the knot sometime ago) She's been burning up the dance stage for almost thirteen years now. I remember seeing this little vixen dance at those Motherfucker parties in NYC years ago and thinking, “Man, looking at this girl dance should be illegal.” And with good reason! She was only a teenager!!! These days Amy has cemented her title as the cutest Punk Rock Housewife you ever did see. In this edition in the Interrogation Room we at WDS proudly bring you a little one on one time with the one and only Go-Go Amy. Just the facts ma'am. Just the facts.
For how long have you been melting guy's hearts on the burlesque circuit?How did you first get into dancing? Burlesque? I don't know...I've performed in clubs and modeling since I was 16. go-go dancing (thus the name "go-go" Amy), dancing for bands and drag queens and stuff like that. I can't really pin down an exact date when I went from all around club performer to burlesque dancer it just sort of happened. I was just minding my own business trying to pay my rent by showing a lot of skin and dancing around at nightclubs when someone informed me that what I was doing was burlesque. Now that Noe-burlesque has it's own scene you can call me a burlesque dancer but really I'm just a girl that likes getting paid to drink and take her clothes off.
Funny. That's what I do on my Friday nights as well. Strangest thing to ever happen to you while on stage? Well the fact that I get up on stage and show my boobs to a room full of people is strange enough so after that things don't really phase you. I've had all kind of things happen. DJ's playing the wrong song, wardrobe malfunctions, pasties flying off. There was one time I was doing my martini time number and I was twirling my tassels at the very end and one of my pasties came flying off and I caught it in my martini glass. After the show I told everyone that it was part of the act and that I had practiced at home to be able to do it. Everyone one thought I was soooo talented when really all it was was good luck in a bad situation.
A little luck goes a long way I guess. Especially when twirling nipple tassels. For all the perverted folk out there, namely me, what are you measurements? And what are your feelings towards enhancements? Bust 36C Waist 28 Hips 39 I'm 5' 7" and I wear a 7 1/2 shoe. I like my size. I'm a nice normal girl. Not too big. Not too small. As for enhancements...they're not for me. I think it's weird when boobs don't move but some girls love them so more power to ya if you have the money to go get them done.
Agreed. Besides only fake boobs I have ever felt have always been cold. Odd. How many Suicide Girls shoots have you done to date? Plan on any more in the future? I have 4 sets up on SG right now and I plan on doing more. I'm going to do one in the new recording studio that my husband and I own (The Black Lab www.theblacklabstudio.com ) I'm covering one of the rooms in stickers and as soon as the walls are covered up I'm going to do a set in there to help promote the studio and all the cool bands, websites and clothing companies that have sent me free stickers. I'd like to do more sets after that as I love getting my picture taken and I think it's really fun to be naked. There's not a lot of people who shoot for SG where I'm at so I usually have to find photographers when I'm on the road. I also really want to do a video for SG but I haven't found anyone who can shoot it for me yet.
I also do a lot of modeling outside of Suicide Girls. I work for Lucky Loo Loo Jewelry, Pin Up Girl Clothing, Coquette Faux Furriers, Ace Energy Drink, The Exotic Underground Magazine, and I'm about to do a shoot for Revamp Handbags. I've also set up a photography studio in my house so I can shoot whenever I want. I really like helping out small companies who I think have cool products so you'll see me pop up on a lot of different websites.
That's how we met ya know. Always helping out us little people, that's why we love ya. For as long as I have been a fan of yours I have always been drawn to, one, your beauty. And two, the amazing outfits you wear during a performance. Do you design your own costumes? Yes! I design and sew all my own costumes. I actually started out as a costume designer. I've been a designer off Broadway, an assistant on Broadway and I worked a lot in film and TV when I lived in LA. Getting to make insane costumes is one of my favorite parts of burlesque. It's such a great way to add a bit of humor into my acts, like the light up bra I made for my "Once in Love with Amy" number. I also really love rigging them so they don't come off in the usual way. Any girl can unzip the back of a dress and wiggle out of it but I like to have to reveal nobody can see coming. Like my dress that spins off or my dresses that come off on “The Installment Plan."
That light bulb bikini down at Viva 2006 was my favorite! You are known for your very original dance routines. What influences some of these acts? Well I do actually have some dance training and I watch old burlesque videos but really what influences me are the audiences reaction. If I do a move and the crowd goes wild you can be sure you're going to see me do it again. I'm a total whore for applause so whatever gets the crowd going is what I want to do. I try to be sexy but with a twist of humor. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't but the most important thing, I think, is to have a good time up there. If you're having fun so will your audience.
Trust me, we're having fun. People have always commented on your sewing machine tattoo. Is there a story behind it? Well as I said before I started out as a costume designer and a seamstress. I've been sewing since I was 6 years old and I really can't remember a time where I wasn't sewing so when it came time for me to get another tattoo it was the obvious choice to wear my heart on my sleeve and get a sewing machine tattoo. I was a bit concerned that getting a tattoo on my arm might affect my modeling career as I do a lot of vintage pin up work and a lot of people want a girl to look vintage (i.e. no visible tattoos) but actually it's helped. So many clothing designer love the sewing machine tattoo as they themselves are very into sewing. So now I think it's actually helped me get jobs and it has become my little trademark. There are some people who think its lame but those people can suck it. They all probably have a tweety bird tattooed on their ass anyway.
Remind me to send you my pants for tailoring from now on. Some may not realize it, but you star in a Red Hot Chili Peppers video correct? Which one and how did that come about? Yeah I was in the "Zephyr Song" video. I was living in LA working as a seamstress at the time and I just got a call out of the blue to show up at this studio and be in this video. So the story goes they wanted to have a dancer in their video which was all 60's psychedelic but everyone they got was either a stripper and too trashy for them or a ballerina and to classically trained for them. So they called a club promoter that I had go-go danced for asking him if he could recommend anyone and he sent them to me. I didn't want to do it at first because I would have to take a day off work and there was a chance I could have lost my job so I turned it down at first. They begged me and upped my pay and since I really needed to get my car fixed I thought I'd risk it. Lucky for me my boss was a big Chili Peppers fan and she let me work a half day so I could go. You can see the video on www.YOUtube.com and you can also find the behind the scenes where the directors talk about how I came in at the last minute and saved the day. I watch that every time I need a little ego stroke.
Your stranded on an island. You can bring one of the following: Person of your choice, music album and one type of food. What/who and why? Well I would hope that the island I'm stranded on is the island of Manhattan as I'm really not a big nature person. I would have my older brother Dave there with me because he's can turn any situation into the most fun day of your life and I love the way he makes me laugh. We'd get a chef salad from Odessa on Ave A delivered everyday because that's the only meal I like when I'm sober and when I'm drunk. The album is a tough one because I like such a wide range of music and I'm so addicted to my iPod I haven't sat down and listened to a whole album in such a long time but if I had to narrow it down it would have to be the Raw Power Album by Iggy and the Stooges. It was one of the first albums I ever owned and it's such a classic plus the album cover is so hot. It's that picture that made me spend my whole life having sex with musicians. If I ever met Iggy Pop I don't know whether I should thank him for that or punch him in the face....
Ah the Odessa! My favorite diner in NYC. Amy you are a little pierogie of love dollface! Thank god we're not all rock stars, otherwise we'd have black eyes courtesy of Go-Go Amy. Thanks for your time honey. You're free to go now ma'am. Thanks officer! (cute giggle…and I melt…) Make sure you catch Go-Go Amy's upcoming acts! You can keep up with her hectic schedule via her Myspace profile or website: www.myspace.com/gogoamy www.gogoamy.com www.myspace.com/glamoramagirlyshow
